Philosophy

My odd, not-so-relaxing, winter break:

Saturday: Shopping with the boy.
We braved the bitter cold and wind for unbeatable prices at the outlets. Tons of people. Lots of dogs. Lots of smiles. Lots of laughs. Lots of pictures! Lots of fun. Timed just right so we could make our 7 o'clock reservation at a restaurant downtown. Yummy noodles. Did you know that you need a minimum of 4 people to go lazer tagging? Completely lame. No laser tagging for the two of us. But lots of Planet Earth!

Sunday: IKEAAAAAA.
After having a mini-panic attack, brought on by incorrect directions given by my mother resulting in claustrophobic me driving straight into the heart of downtown New Haven (hate driving in cities with a scared passion), the boy and I happily explored all the wonders IKEA has to offer, with our coffee beverages in hand. Then back home for hot pot and beer - what a meal. Plus shots of baijou. Yum.

Monday: Guitar Hero-mania.
The boy left, along with much of my sanity. Played Guitar Hero World Tour for a good couple of hours. Almost got through Sweet Home Alabama. Determined not to do any work. Realized that not bringing my physics book home was a major mistake.

Tuesday: Glee fail.
After working for a good part of my waking hours and eating through a large pile of frozen food, I was excited to take a break and watch Glee, which I thought was at 9. Unfortunately, it was at 8. My parents laughed at me. More time to work on my organic chem labs, I suppose.

Wednesday: Why is everything expired?
So, I wanted to make alfredo sauce to go with my pasta, but it expired in 2009. I wanted to make brownies with chocolate chips and peanut butter chips, but the brownie mix also expired in 2009. Good thing there are about a million brownie/cake mixes in this house. Brownies were a success! Definitely need to be consumed with milk though.

Today: Roller Coaster Tycoon 3
Somehow, whenever I come home for break, I end up playing my old Roller Coaster Tycoon on the PC at home. So today I decided to download the game for mac. Cue the extreme decrease in productivity. Apparently in the new game, if you don't pay your staff enough (i.e. handymen, mechanics, etc.) they'll get really unhappy and ultimately quit. You can counteract this by increasing wages, disciplining your staff, or just firing them. I decided to do the latter, and just kept a steady cycle of staff. Ah well. Currently working on my bitch of a biology report rewrite. My TA thinks that bracketing all the figures and tables, with uninformative arrows is actually really clear and constructive criticism. Yep, yep, definitely see what you're saying there.

Sleepwalking

At the start of the semester, I decided to pack in as much non-studying related fun as I could, often spending my nights watching some obscure TV show, or playing Cooking Mama. Since the work load in the first couple of weeks is relatively light, I got by doing minimal work, and maximizing my free time during the day so my work load was manageable and not I-take-three-science-classes scary. However, it's all coming back to bite me in the ass. Karma, I suppose. This week may be one of the worst weeks ever, and it's only Tuesday. The amount of things that I had to do kept piling up, and after taking inventory, deep breathing was necessary to not have a complete break down. Full blown stress hit me hard and fast, to the point where it's hard to think. And yet, I almost have no motivation to do any of it. It's all things that I don't want to do, or are too intimidating to think about. I have 11 applications to complete in less than a week. I have two exams on the same day, along with a "creative" biology lab presentation, followed by two physics labs and an orgo lab report due the next day. I have more applications than I have fingers, and less sleep than I have toes. Every little thing becomes blown out of proportion and "fuck" is a common word in my daily vocabulary, as evidenced by swearing profusely at messed up fly eyes for two hours. It's overwhelming. I just want to curl up against a warm body and let the outside world disappear for just a bit. In those moments, everything is okay, and there are strong arms to protect me. But sometimes, this crappy messed up world invades and destroys that too. I need to toughen up and take on the obstacles face to face. I'm not going down without a fight.

Hollaback Girl

I have become hopelessly addicted to Bananagrams. It's actually a little sad how quickly, and how intense this addiction set in. I've played it before in person, seen the clever yellow banana-shaped bag of tiles hanging in stores and Walmarts, but it wasn't until a friend introduced me to the Facebook application version of the game did I become just so totally obsessed. The game gives you a choice of playing online with other people, or playing by yourself. I mostly played solo for a bit, since people I knew were never online, but then I realized that it doesn't really matter who you are playing against, just that you beat them. My computer is now set perpetually on mute so I don't have to deal with the stereotypically tropical and beachy music the game puts in the background, and I crave for some extra minutes of free time in my now busier days when I used to just sit here in boredom literally all afternoon. In essence, Bananagrams has taken over my life. There is just something about it, the thrill of playing against the clock, trying to form words faster than other people, the satisfaction of using a difficult letter like K, J, or X in a really awesome word, the rush to click the pile of tiles to "peel," and the overbearing need to win. Each time, it seems like I am so close, and if I just clicked a little faster, or had a real mouse instead of this dinky trackpad, I would have declared "BANANAS!" and have won the game. But someone else declares bananas, and I just HAVE to play again because I was so close to winning. On top of it, each game takes only three or four minutes, so I feel like I can afford to play again. "Just one more game, just one more game," I keep telling myself. And before you know it, two hours have passed by while I was frantically hunched over the computer. Bananagrams, what have you done?

Hide and Seek

Today has pretty much been full of nothingness. For the past week, I have been volunteering at a biology lab where my dad works. Should be interesting, but everyone just got back from vacation, or not yet back, so the amount of work to do in the lab is minimal. Especially since the majority of work in a biology lab is prep work. Yesterday was more interesting; I designed primers and circled viable cells in a 96 well plate. Today, there's literally nothing for me to do and the only thing on the agenda is to go see the mouse room. Since lunch, I've been clacking back and forth between my dad's old office and the lab to check and see if there is anyone in lab, but the door has been locked. The other two physicists with offices in the same complex here just kind of stare and me and wonder what the hell I'm doing or who I am, while the nosy secretaries give me dirty looks as my boots (with a minimal heel) create a racket down the hall. My dad says I could join a tap dance with these shoes. Sigh.

My break has amounted to a lot of nothingness, I feel. I've spent time with friends, traveled to different states and almost beat Guitar Hero World Tour, but the majority of my days have been filled with nonsense. This morning I spent two hours playing Bananagrams while exploring the dubstep world. Fascinating. I'm looking back on my optimistic set of goals for this break with a kind of distain and helplessness. I should be doing work, but I don't really want to. Home just isn't a conducive work environment. At this point, I'm almost looking forward to going back to school.

It's the new year, and I suppose I should make a few resolutions, though I never really see the point since anyone rarely follows or fulfills their over reaching, overarching goals. The solution: create smaller, funner resolutions. Here are a couple:
I vow, or will at least try my best, to complete at least one lab report a week 24 hours before it's due.
I vow, or will at least try my best, to catch up with Mad Men before the 5th season starts in August.
I vow, or will at least try my best, to make new friends, and keep old friends.
I vow, or will at least try my best, to become a wizard.

Come On Eileen

Just chilling back at home after going to a pretty standard, non exciting Asian Christmas Party. It was the typical loud parents yelling and laughing in the living room, making plans for the next Asian Invasion summer trip to somewhere exotic and fun while the "kids" sat in the family room mostly bored out of their minds, chomping away at the plethora of food surrounding them. We paroosed YouTube, played cards, watched random TV shows, put up with parents' inquiries as to our studies and future plans, crowded around the one laptop someone smartly brought along, drank some (very) lightly alcoholic punch, and generally chit-chatted. Typical, boring, but filling. And thus begins the three day Asian Christmas Party delight. Somehow, Asians decided that Christmas is really about having large parties where it is much more fun for the parents than the kids and standard Chinese fare is served, but in festive snowman platters so it's holiday friendly. Sigh. In other news, I think I actually did fairly well this semester grades wise, so thank you Brandeis for that great Christmas present as grades are posted Christmas Eve.

How Far We've Come

It's an odd feeling to go from having everything to do to having absolutely nothing to do. Now that finals are finally over (thank god), I'm back at home lazing around, waking up as the sun goes down and having a plethora of TV shows, movies, and real TV to look forward too. Not to mention the yummy home cooked food and the amazing fluffiness of my own bed. It's a bit disoriented as I have no idea what to do anymore - the past few days have been so structured around my study schedule: get up at a certain time, study, maybe eat lunch, or if I'm behind just grab a snack on the way to the SCC and study for 6 more hours, then take a break for dinner, then studying until I can't function anymore. Now, I just have so much free time in front of me I hardly know what to do.

And the semester is actually over! Three semesters down, five to go. I'm almost halfway through my college career and everything is going entirely too fast. This past semester especially, I still remember...
- spending way too much awkward time on Wellington
- party hopping and walking up and down South Street
- bumping into old friends who became new friends
- finding the unexpected
- waking up on couches
- bootfacing it everywhere
- almost skinny dipping in the reservoir
- failed bonfires
- procrastinating suite charades
- playing Rock Band instead of going to the gym
- endless waiting for the BranVan
- avoiding douche #1, douche #2, and boring douche
- losing IDs all over the place
- watching the stars by the water and laughing on the playground,
- taking the pumpkin
- the unhealthiest days of my life as I struggled to write a midterm
- going on an adventure in the woods
- how I can't do bird calls for my life
- stalking pictures of sleeping people
- elaborate plans to hide from certain people
- PACHANGA (mostly...)
- ripping down posters all over the place
- teaching Snow White how to walk in heels
- practically living in Einstein's and off of Einstein's coffee
- the feeling of the ground being pulled from under me
- the way that Ziv looks like Legos
- late night studying insanity

And so much more! I've absolutely loved this semester, through the good and the bad times, the fun times and the not so fun times, the freebie weeks and the hell weeks, the late night partying and the late night studying, the laughing and the crying, the warm fall days and the frigid winter nights. My life was filled with so many good times with some of the best people. Now, I just get to reflect as I sit at home with my dog, watching an episode of the Sing Off (these people are crazy good!). I'm so glad to have this break from school, but I really can't wait for next semester!

In the meantime, to do over break:
- start/finish applications for research positions over the summer
- finish Mad Men season 2 (and maybe 3)
- learn how to play the saxophone again (it's been two years! major sadface)
- do something meaningful with DNA at the Weidaas lab
- figure out my schedule for next year
- SHOP!
- make sure Calcifer makes it to spring semester
- general shenanigans around Madtown

Rules & Regulations

Mer. Oh the tired, stressed, finals induced insanity I have acquired. My productivity is at an all time low, when I really need to focus and study the shit out of everything so I can tip those borderline grades in my favor. I haven't blogged in a while, and that's mostly due to the large amount of studying (or rather the large amount of procrastinating) I've done over the past couple of days. I thought I would have PLENTY of time to study for my exams as I've had an entire week since classes ended, but looking back, I've squandered most of my precious study days. Realizing that, I've been staying up until 5 am trying to cram in all the missed studying, causing me to wake up at 1 in the afternoon the following day, thus shortening my day and causing the cycle to repeat. I've lost the ability to think of anything witty, interesting, or of that nature to write about. All I can think about is the amount of work I have to do and the fact that there is still a surprising amount of people in the library at 5 am. My stress level has gotten to the point where almost everyone is annoying the hell out of me, but I remain calm in other aspects of life. Odd.

Accomplished:
- 4 chapters of biology reading = 11 hours
- 8 pages of bullshit for biomedical ethics final = 7.5 hours

Incomplete:
- making bio flash cards
- reviewing all of the biology notes from the semester
- actually understanding 5 chapters of physics
- making an orgo review sheet
- taking orgo practice exams and reviewing

At least I have the Great Caesar online concert to look forward to tomorrow night...rather tonight.

California Dreaming

My day in a nutshell:

12 hours of sleep. Bones. Grey's Anatomy. Top Gear. Figuring out what color Cinderella's dress was and then finding the appropriate crayon. Getting chased by the po'. Dinner. The Hangover. Our one shot over a nice conversation. Where are our waffle fries?! Hello drunk people. Nice scarf. Awkwardly listening to stories. Miserable walk back. Rant. Doubt. Blog. Sleep.

Teenage Dream

Happy (belated) Thanksgiving!

Despite the huge biology report looming over my head, I've actually been able to thoroughly enjoy this holiday. And the two days left make me optimistic I can actually finish my report. Or at least most of it. Luckily, I crammed hardcore the week before and got most of the stuff done for next week, minus my physics lab exam which I have actually completely forgotten about until right now. Oops...anyways, here are some highlights:

- split, peel, peel, peel, BANANA! mad intense bananagrams
- beer pong with tiny solo cups filled with water which somehow got parental approval
- excluding people for have dated an asian, or never dated someone jewish
- chilling at Starbucks, refueling on coffee at 10pm
- mini dance parties in the back seat
- pookiepewptypie - I don't think I'll actually ever get over that
- catching up with old friends the old fashion way - sitting in a car late at night at a random place in Madison
- comparing black out stories
- pumpkin pie, pecan pie, cheese cake, apple pie
- actually good turkey and ham at an asian party - props
- Calcifer surviving his water change
- trying to start a dead car in the cold
- online Black Friday shopping - yay boots!
- lots of noodles and rice
- watching TV shows (namely House, Top Gear and Mad Men) to make my biology writing a little more interesting
- (semi) late night Skype sessions
- sleeping until 1pm on a regular basis

Fallin' For You

Now that the adrenaline that was propelling me through that shit show of an orgo lab exam is wearing off, biomedical ethics has become less interesting that usual. To the point where I'm about to pass out in the middle of this libertarian debate. But it's the end of the week! Thanksgiving! Hooray! I'm almost done, just one late night class to go and I will be home free, literally. I actually can't wait until I go home, I haven't been home is uch a long time, especially with spending the entire summer away from home. I can't wait to see my dog, eat good food, sleep for hours on end, share stories with my friends at the diner, and.....ugh, write my monster of a biology lab report, study for two lab exams, and all the associated assignments for the next week. Really? There goes my vacation. It's not actually going to stop me from savoring every moment. I can't wait until this class ends :)

DJ Got Us Falling In Love

Honestly I don't even know what just happened. My fingers are freezing to the point where typing feels weird and the rate of words has seriously decreased. We tried doing another bonfire and surprise, it didn't work again despite the amount of kindling and newspaper that we found. All I know is that there are people who don't remember the majority of the night, people who are throwing up all over the place, people who are just too fucking drunk, and people who are just too goddamn cold. It's been a really weird night and I'm ready to just sleep it all off. I got lost in the woods, found tree branches by the light of my cell, texted my friend via someone else's phone, walked an insane amount in the cold, tried to warm up a dumb boy who gave his shirt to someone else, tiredly trudged home barely aware of where my feet were, got really surprised by stairs, lost my ability to literally think and recall, and got drunkenly pissed off at people who decided that weed was more important. I don't even know what to think about tonight, it's just been so odd. And people in my suite are still excitedly yelling things and shit. Really, just go to bed,  I need to pass out and forget this ever happened.

Ixtapa

I don't understand how the Biology department hired so many clearly unintelligent faculty members, at least when it comes to teaching. Maybe they're research is amazing or something. In any case, I have a biology professor who cruises through unhelpful powerpoint slides of pictures in the book at lightning speed, only pausing to add the occasional "yeah?" like we're actually understanding what she's saying to give out pop "bonus quizzes" that are actually part of our grade now and are difficult enough that even if you did go to class, you still won't get both questions right. So instead of rewarding the students who come to class, she's really just hurting everyone's grades. And insists that there be recitation on Wednesday when there's no classes and virtually everyone is home. Really? She sped through her lecture today, ending with an extra 20 minutes of class left. WAY TO BUDGET YOUR TIME PROPERLY. And she actually seemed really surprised when she was done too, like oh wow, I'm done? Such an ineffective teacher.

Then there's the bio lab professor who expects us to write a comprehensive lab report on labs 2 through 11. The labs basically go through creating a mutation, generating protein, purifying it and analyzing it to see what the mutation did, if anything. The thing is, lab 11 is the analysis of the aggregation of the protein, basically the entire point of all previous experiments. And the lab report is due before we do lab 11. So....what am I supposed to conclude? That my mutation MIGHT have worked but I don't have any idea whatsoever since we haven't analyzed it?? What kind of planning is that? No really, what am I supposed to be writing about? WAY TO BUDGET YOUR TIME PROPERLY. Honestly. Yet another reason why I hate biology. I might have to reconsider my double major.

The Sparrow and the Medicine

So tired my eyes hurt.

Leftover coffee from my late night/early morning 4:30am studying stint: ineffective. 
The insane pace that my biology professor lectured today to fit in a quiz: irritating.
My attention span at the mo': abysmal.
.....

The amount of studying I have done for my orgo exam: minimal to say the least.
The amount of studying I have yet to do for my orgo exam: an intimidating quantity.

Chinese herbal medicine and Odwalla Strawberry C Monster in an attempt to ward off impending sickness: successful.
The percentage of my thoughts that's consumed with food: terrifying.
Stress level: surprisingly low, though will be expected to exponentially grow with each hour the orgo exam draws closer 

Listening to The Tallest Man on Earth: comforting.
My pet fish: Calcifer.

Horchata

I got a fish. He's a complete spazz and desperately wants to escape, as evidenced by his constant swimming against the tank walls. He's cute in that creepy fish way, and although I have no clue of the actual gender of my fish, it's a he. All fishes are male to me. He has a cute little blue themed tank with multicolored pebbles and a light blue lid, but he doesn't seem to like it. Sadface. He clearly has an avoidant personality as he is terrified of humans and will instantly swim towards the other side of the tank when you place your hand next to the tank. Any loud noises, and you can literally see him jump in the water and run around for a bit. I have a crazy fish. Hopefully he won't give himself a heart attack or injure himself from his unending attack against the tank walls. And one day, he'll have a name. Eventually.

Drops of Jupiter

I'm actually quite enjoying this week. It's a relatively easy week for me, with no exams - a freebie week. But, I'm not spending every night trying to do something I wouldn't normally be able to do, and I'm not trying to pack in as much "fun" as I can into every night. Instead, I've just been going with the flow, doing some work here and there, doing some procrastination here and there, and having the occasional fun activity. And really, I'm enjoying myself much more that I thought I would. Mostly, I'm just not completely, totally and constantly stressed out like I am every other week, and I'm able to do the work at my own pace. Just chillin'. Plus, I really had no expectations for this freebie week. I feel like my last freebie week (my first one) had a lot of expectations bearing it down because I expected to just do crazy stuff and have a good time and not do any work at all, and there was that weight to every night. Now everything's just light and fluffy. I wish every week was like this. But I have a tough weekend/week ahead of me, though my weekend plans don't quite reflect that. There still is a part of me that wants to make the most of this week, this free time, and this general all around good feeling. But I'm learning to just let things go and to take things as they come. It's like that famous philosophical saying - "I think, therefore I am." I think, contemplate and stress out about what I think, say and do. Then, devise a plan and execute. I think I can, I think I can....

Fidelity

The most frustrating problems are those that you know exist, but have absolutely no way of solving them. Most notably, the way my brain is wired. There are things that happen, and I know they happen because of the way I see a certain thing, and the only problem with the situation is purely how I look at it. And I see that it's my perspective that's just fucking shit up, but I have absolutely no power to change it. Because that's the way I think, and have been thinking for my entire life. I can rant about it all I want to my friends, ponder it endlessly night after night, and write about every thought that crosses my mind but in reality none of that will change anything. I recognize what is wrong, but I don't know how to fix it. And it frustrates the hell out of me. How can you just completely change the way you think, or what you care about, or what affects you? It's as much an integral part of me as the black hair on my head or my hatred for chocolate milk. I'm headed down a path of no return with no way out. Am I just destined to be stuck in this pattern forever? It's always the same. I suppose history repeats itself, right?

Up & Down I Go

Why oh why...

....is studying for biology taking so damn long?

....has it suddenly got so cold? Hello November.
....did I ever decide to take three simultaneous science classes with the associated labs?
....is academic orgo lab so stressful yet such a joke? Hate hate hate.
....can't I just study in my own goddamn room?
....has sleeping at 3 am become the norm? Going to bed at 4:30am last night didn't even seem so extreme.
....have I lost my ability to concentrate?

....has everything in my mind just gone to shit lately?

....couldn't there be a single Jewish holiday in October or November? I need a break.
....have I become so distant from my suite? Well, more like when?
....have I been studying for three days straight with barely any breaks with another two days to go?
....was Thursday bio lab next semester already full? I don't want Tuesday lab.
....have I never before discovered the wonders of office hours?
....do I get paranoid about things I don't think I should be, but then become paranoid as to whether I should be or not?
....does everything little thing have such an effect on me?

....does my mind become completely consumed and attached every time? There are priorities, Em. Please get them straight.

....is it only Tuesday?
....?

Secrets

Hello Halloween.

Friday

Major outfit revamp. It's going to be an intense night out. No costumes tonight, just skirts and heels. Experimentation with peppermint and chocolate syrup. Squirt, shot, squirt. Stressing. Waiting.

"Are you one of those pretty girls who hates on herself? Because they're so annoying"

Pointless party searching that resulted in awkward parties and entirely too much walking in heels. But there was still smiling, laughing, dancing and the occasional kissing. Mental state: buzzed.

Back to a familiar place with unfamiliar people. The smell of whiskey/bourbon makes me want to vomit. Another drink down the hatch. Retreat. Ride the wave. Then he passes out. Draw back. Draw. Unibrow? Avoid attack. Markers. Cups. Water. Limeade. Retaliation. Wet suite. Mental state: giddy from exhaustion.

Girl talk with a guy. The set up. Walk back. Gum adventures lead to cold feet. Not figuratively, literally. Some water, some gum, a tousle of the hair and he's sent on his merry way. Now, sleep. 4:50 am - hello? so sorry. lets talk later. Waking up results in nausea, restlessness. Eventually, sleep. 11:20 am - hello? so sorry. urgh please, lets talk later. Can't fall back asleep. Out to the common room to make a phone call. Sketchy tour group waves at the suitemates and I through the common room windows. Please, no. Call. Talk. Whatever. Reassurance.


Saturday

Stress. Too much work, not enough time. Breakfast with the suitemates. Food, decent to urgh. Halloween plans - really? Thanks a fucking lot. Corkscrew - obtained. Wine bottle - opened. Off to the library where I have to simultaneously entertain, study, explain, and vent. No halloween costume. No task complete. No motivation.

"Fuck this shit show of a day" 

Hell to all of this. Last minute costume set up. Escapee. Creative. Original. Rush off with nothing but a Nature Valley bar sitting in my stomach. Watch it. Drinks made, aiming down a sight lesson taught, light bulb hit, costumes prepared, and we're off. Here we go. First, Village mojitos. Cozy setting and a warm reception to Dave and Dave. Then, to the real party. Awkward entrance. Lots of standing around casually, then awkwardly. Mental state: lightly buzzed to sober. No good.

As more people file in, Dave and Dave get exponentially excited and cannot wait to show off. Never stop dancing. Dave sandwich. Pictures. Beer. Beer pong. Lots of laughing, kind of a lot of having fun. Ridiculous. Goodbye, Ziv. Dancing around campus. Renfield dorm storm. What posters? Rosie dorm storm makes for an awkward morning with the suitemates. Bumping into people on the trek back. Dancing around everyone and everything that passed by. Failed poster rip. Blood. Really, let's head home.

Get out of your costume, now. Shirt, soaked. Pants, soaked. Water, now. Halloweiner. Nerf gun wars. Lost dart. Ah well. They smoke. I don't. Interesting conversation out in the common room. Grumpy bf.

"It's very much an enigma wrapped in a riddle shrouded in mystery"

Amazingly good mozzarella sticks before calling it a night. Snuggle, sleep. Wake up. No really, wake up. Food prepared by a cutie. Falling asleep. Back to the room, pass out. Time to study. Upset stomach, tired body and tired mind, shit load of work. Fuck. Happy Halloween.

Finally Moving

Sometimes I hate the English language. One prime example is the lack of words to describe one's emotions for another person if it's at the point where saying "I really like you" is lame and doesn't convey enough, but it hasn't reached the pivotal "I love you" stage. Because "I love you" really carries a lot of weight with it, a lot of connotations and expectations that have over time become associated with those three little words. It's a scary prospect. And "like" is just too mild and tame. It's like saying, I like mac and cheese. Liking someone can span anywhere from "oh, he/she is okay, I like him/her" to "I think I may really like him/her" to "I really like you." But that's not where I'm at. I'm stuck in language limbo trying to find words or a phrase that captures how I feel - in that in between. I'm way past liking, but not yet loving. Honestly, love scares me. I'm not ready to say that just yet. But "I really like you?" C'mon. The best thing I could think of is "I'm falling in love with you" but it still has that scary love connotation. And, me being one of the most awkward people ever when it comes to talking about emotions, it's difficult to find the right situation and time, and even if there was a perfect moment, everything inside me would seize up and I'd just keep my mouth shut. So thanks a bunch, English language, for making me more awkward than I already am.

Seven Wicked Reels

I've completely lost the ability to focus on my physics lab. Or anything for that matter, as I just completely spaced out, and then tried to see if Einstein's was giving out free bagels because there are a shit load of people walking around with bagels and the smell is making me hungry. This week is supposed to be freebie week, and I really don't have as much work as usual, but I still have 2 labs and a lot of reading to do which I really do not want to do at this time of night, but I want to do them even less during the week. This is supposed to be my free week where I can just relax and not worry about work. I've worked my ass off today to try to make that happen. I took the weekend off, doing basically no work whatsoever, a well deserved break, though I was planning on doing work on Sunday, but certain events made that impossible. I think I did get some chunk of work done, but it wasn't nearly enough. I've spent a total of an hour in my suite today since 9am. All today has been is literally class, library, class, SSC to study, class, dinner, Einstein's to do work. Until now. And it really frustrates me that I've essentially only crossed one thing off my to do list. With the amount of time that I've dedicated to work today, I should be fucking finished. I hate lab reports. I am not leaving this building until I get what I want done. It won't be as much as I would have liked, but hopefully it will set me up for a light work load the rest of the week. Too much work.