Fidelity

The most frustrating problems are those that you know exist, but have absolutely no way of solving them. Most notably, the way my brain is wired. There are things that happen, and I know they happen because of the way I see a certain thing, and the only problem with the situation is purely how I look at it. And I see that it's my perspective that's just fucking shit up, but I have absolutely no power to change it. Because that's the way I think, and have been thinking for my entire life. I can rant about it all I want to my friends, ponder it endlessly night after night, and write about every thought that crosses my mind but in reality none of that will change anything. I recognize what is wrong, but I don't know how to fix it. And it frustrates the hell out of me. How can you just completely change the way you think, or what you care about, or what affects you? It's as much an integral part of me as the black hair on my head or my hatred for chocolate milk. I'm headed down a path of no return with no way out. Am I just destined to be stuck in this pattern forever? It's always the same. I suppose history repeats itself, right?