Secrets

Hello Halloween.

Friday

Major outfit revamp. It's going to be an intense night out. No costumes tonight, just skirts and heels. Experimentation with peppermint and chocolate syrup. Squirt, shot, squirt. Stressing. Waiting.

"Are you one of those pretty girls who hates on herself? Because they're so annoying"

Pointless party searching that resulted in awkward parties and entirely too much walking in heels. But there was still smiling, laughing, dancing and the occasional kissing. Mental state: buzzed.

Back to a familiar place with unfamiliar people. The smell of whiskey/bourbon makes me want to vomit. Another drink down the hatch. Retreat. Ride the wave. Then he passes out. Draw back. Draw. Unibrow? Avoid attack. Markers. Cups. Water. Limeade. Retaliation. Wet suite. Mental state: giddy from exhaustion.

Girl talk with a guy. The set up. Walk back. Gum adventures lead to cold feet. Not figuratively, literally. Some water, some gum, a tousle of the hair and he's sent on his merry way. Now, sleep. 4:50 am - hello? so sorry. lets talk later. Waking up results in nausea, restlessness. Eventually, sleep. 11:20 am - hello? so sorry. urgh please, lets talk later. Can't fall back asleep. Out to the common room to make a phone call. Sketchy tour group waves at the suitemates and I through the common room windows. Please, no. Call. Talk. Whatever. Reassurance.


Saturday

Stress. Too much work, not enough time. Breakfast with the suitemates. Food, decent to urgh. Halloween plans - really? Thanks a fucking lot. Corkscrew - obtained. Wine bottle - opened. Off to the library where I have to simultaneously entertain, study, explain, and vent. No halloween costume. No task complete. No motivation.

"Fuck this shit show of a day" 

Hell to all of this. Last minute costume set up. Escapee. Creative. Original. Rush off with nothing but a Nature Valley bar sitting in my stomach. Watch it. Drinks made, aiming down a sight lesson taught, light bulb hit, costumes prepared, and we're off. Here we go. First, Village mojitos. Cozy setting and a warm reception to Dave and Dave. Then, to the real party. Awkward entrance. Lots of standing around casually, then awkwardly. Mental state: lightly buzzed to sober. No good.

As more people file in, Dave and Dave get exponentially excited and cannot wait to show off. Never stop dancing. Dave sandwich. Pictures. Beer. Beer pong. Lots of laughing, kind of a lot of having fun. Ridiculous. Goodbye, Ziv. Dancing around campus. Renfield dorm storm. What posters? Rosie dorm storm makes for an awkward morning with the suitemates. Bumping into people on the trek back. Dancing around everyone and everything that passed by. Failed poster rip. Blood. Really, let's head home.

Get out of your costume, now. Shirt, soaked. Pants, soaked. Water, now. Halloweiner. Nerf gun wars. Lost dart. Ah well. They smoke. I don't. Interesting conversation out in the common room. Grumpy bf.

"It's very much an enigma wrapped in a riddle shrouded in mystery"

Amazingly good mozzarella sticks before calling it a night. Snuggle, sleep. Wake up. No really, wake up. Food prepared by a cutie. Falling asleep. Back to the room, pass out. Time to study. Upset stomach, tired body and tired mind, shit load of work. Fuck. Happy Halloween.

Lisztomania

Today has a weight to it... 


...because it is my last day of work for the summer. But honestly, I'm rejoicing. The lab was completely new and awe-inspiring in the beginning of summer, and I was eager to learn every single last detail I could. But now I find myself in a position where I know the routine and actual lab work is sparse, making my days long and dull. I'll still be working here during the school year, so nothing is really ending except for my paychecks (working in a lab during the school year is "considered part of my education"). 


...because it is my last Massachusetts summer day. I'm heading home in a mere 5 hours, and even though there are technically still five more days of summer until school officially starts, it feels like the end. There have been some pretty great highs, and some pretty shitty lows the past three months. This summer exposed me to an entire new world I'm not quite ready to give up. The thought of schoolwork makes me shiver.


...because of my lack of sleep these past two days, making me a bit loopy and overemotional. I need coffee, stat.


...because I woke up to an empty house. There was no one except movers hauling furniture into the newly occupied apartment downstairs. It's an odd feeling to be the only one in the house when there are four of us sharing the space. My room is also depressingly bare and empty, all of my belongings neatly packed away in the corner, prepped and ready for the move. 


...because I think that my friend is mad at me and I don't know why. Never a good feeling.


Everything comes to an end. So it goes.


"Those were vile people in both those cities, as is well known. The world was better off without them. And Lot's wife, of course, was told not to look back where all those people and their homes had been. But she did look back, and I love her for that, because it was so human. So she was turned into a pillar of salt. So it goes." - Vonnegut