Maybe

Oh how sucky my life is. I'm currently sitting at work with stuff to do, but really just not doing it. In my defense, it's not completely because of my lack of motivation. There are questions that I need to ask my postdoc, but she's not here. I could go track her down, but that requires too much work and I'm sitting here feeling shittastic, so I think I'll just revel in my self pity for just a while longer.

The ex and I had another long drawn out conversation last night that made me want to go drown myself in a sea of alcohol. The conversation involved bringing up old memories and old arguments. I don't even remember what we were originally talking about but one thing lead to another and lo and behold, I'm bawling my eyes out. Whoopdeedoo. Because of this whole debacle and other things that happened this past weekend, I've begun to question my character. Hence the self-pity. I just read a book recently that has a good quote about situations like this:

"The unhappy person resents it when you try to cheer him up, because that means he has to stop dwelling on himself and start paying attention to the universe. Unhappiness is the ultimate form of self-indulgence. When you're unhappy, you get to pay a lot of attention to yourself. You get to take yourself oh so very seriously."

Whenever I'm feeling especially down, I like to treat myself to a self-indulgence day where I just mope around the house, eat junk food and watch bad TV. Maybe blog about all the woes in my life. But I make sure that I confine it to just that day, and the next day I have to stop thinking about all the oh so terrible things in my life and go on with my life. That way, I can get all of the depressed thoughts out of my head and just move on. Throughout this summer I've learned a lot about letting things go and moving on. And now hopefully, I can do just that.